Does It Look Like I Want To Talk To You Right Now?

Yesterday, I was dropping my seven year old son off at school.  He didn't want to go to school that day, and was appearing on the verge of a meltdown.  I'm kneeling down on the floor, talking very quietly to him in front of the lockers, attempting to bribe him to go into the classroom without a scene.  Yeah that's right, I'm not above bribery as a valid parenting tool.  As I'm trying to sooth him, a Mom I really can't stand comes down the hall.  She's one of those holier than thou, my way is the best way Moms, and that's so not the way I roll.  Not to mention her brat of a kid is not so nice to my kid.  So, no love lost there.  Anyway, as I'm trying to talk to the boy, she stops in her tracks and starts talking about my hair.  

My hair is quite curly.  And unruly.  And most of my life is a giant bad hair day.  That particular morning, well most mornings, to be completely honest, I didn't have time to shower and just threw my hair up in a bun.  I had brushed some of the curl out of it.  

"Oh wow", says the mom of Satan's spawn.   "I didn't even recognize you with that hair. Did you have that professionally done, or did you do it yourself?"  Ummm, what the messy, half falling out bun?  Would you pay to have this put on your head?  If so, I charge 50 bucks an hour and am free during the school day.  And  I can recommend a nice pajama bottom to go with it.

I ignore her, continue talking to the boy.  She takes this to mean that I haven't heard her.  She edges closer.  Repeats herself. 

"I just brushed it" trying to pacify her so she moves on and I don't snap on her nosy ass.  "Oh, that must be the difference, you don't usually brush it".  What?  I'm a slob, is that what you are saying?

I give her my best stinkeye.  She takes the hint.  Boy goes to class.  Had to bribe him with staying up an hour past his bedtime.  The current school lesson is telling time.  Guess I need to come up with a new bribe before he figures out he still goes to bed at the same time.

Not so much socially acceptable to be beating up on your kid's classmates mom, but I just wanted to smack her upside the head.